Rules are meant to be broken... right?

(This blog was started before leaving on vacation. Sorry for the delayed post)

First off I would like to thank my family and friends for helping me enjoy my 43rd birthday this past weekend. I did receive some nice gifts but more than that just ... well... ... I don't know... It was just a nice family weekend.

I can not really say it was a relaxing weekend. It seems like I was busy the whole time; We picked Kyle up at drum camp Saturday morning. I worked in the Garage that afternoon then went to my In-Law's for dinner that night. Sunday, though I did get the opportunity to sleep in a bit, was go go go. In the morning Tyler and I ran out and took care of some Soccer field maintenance. Karen and I ran errands, where I spent my Birthday money, Tyler and I changed the oil in, rotated the tires on, and washed the Volvo. Then the rest of the evening was spent regaining control over the garage. Well at least moving all of my tools and materials off to the side far enought to get the van back in. There was at least 4 monthes of saw dust that had to be delt with.

I also could not say it was particuarly stress free a weekend either, and thus the real topic of this blog....

My father-in-law, Howard, is not an in-your-face kind of guy. Sling insults or profanity is not his style. He is generaly a quite confident person who tries to alway treat others with respect, whether they deserve it or not. I cannot remember ever hearing any form of profanity come from his mouth and he has raised his voice... no, even then just the intensity of his voice, only a handfull of times in the 22 years I have know him.

So, A couple of weeks ago, when Howard approach the golf-cart riders, The same cart and riders that he had seen several times, riding on our community walking paths, I will trust that he approached them with his typical, professional, respectful demenor.

His intent was to remind or inform the contingency that non-human powered vehicles were not permitted on the community paths or common grounds. It is explicitly written in the community convenance/bi-laws. Rules all association members agree to abide by when they sign the deed to their homes. As it happens, this particular golf cart should have been better marked. As I illuded to in the past, If this particular golf card had a confederate battle flag or perhaps a gun rack mounted behind the front seat, things might have gone differently.

The driver of the cart, apparently a rural southerner, born and bread, became agrivated very quicky. The "gentlman" hurled insult and profanity at Howard, then alegidly threatened to "knock him in the head" if he did not go back inside and mind his own business. At that point Howard, instictivly, drew a wepon; an approxomatly 3 inch lancet that he carries with him wherever he goes just for such an occation. He drew, then and pointed his weapon at the driver and the cart passenger, an older lady, probably 70 years old, who is every bit as charming as the driver; her son I suspect. Howard informed the man that he did not appreciate the threat. The driver echoed Howards cry apparently feeling he himself was being physically threatened by the 5'6" approxomatly 140 lb. man weilding an index finger... To cut this chapter short, Luke Duke and Miz Emma drove off in the General Lee without further incident.

Saturday, as I was finishing up my birthday dinner, The general lee was spotted again. It was heading around the lake on the walking path that passes within 20 feet of Howard and Nancy's townhome. Howard had already taken a complaint to the home owners association but wanted to get proof of the continued infraction. He grabbed his camera and waited on the back porch. Having heard the account of the previous incident, I joined him, I suppose, for moral, if not, limited physical support. Our intent was for nothing other than to snap a picture as they drove buy.

They stopped to pose for the picure. They never left the cart and we never left the portch so there was no threat of physical confrentation but suffice it to say, Their southern hospitality shown through. We got the pictures but not before another lenghty and outright enfuriating public exchange between Luke, Miz Emma, Barney, (their new nick namke for Howard), Daisy Lou (Karen), and myself. They had a charming name for me as well, I just don't remember what it was at this point.

On our side were as respectfull as we could be, we never resorted to name calling, insults or profanity but still, I was disappointed in myself for letting these folks get under my skin and suck me into a public not quite shouting match. I should have recognized after the first sentance out of their mouth that any attempt to reason with these individuals would be fruitless. I should have just taken the picture and simply gone back inside.

After the incident, after my anger subsided, after my hand stopped shaking from holding back the rage I felt, we were discussing the event over German Chocolate Birthday cake and Goodberry's frozen custard (my birthday tradition). The insults and profanity we disregarded as a cultural thing. What we may find as profane, and ignorent is just how some folks communicate day in and day out. While I am sure their intent was to insult and inflame the situration, which they did sucessfully, the profanity was just how they express themselves.

Profanity and insults aside, what really got under my skin (and again the reall intended topic of this BLOG) was the justification these folks used for their actions. It is typical. Not just of the Southern culture but of the "me" culture that us Americans are loved and admired for around the world. I see it in my kids, I see it at work, I see it all over.

• "it was not hurting anyone or anything so what difference does it make"


• "Others in the community do not take care of their lawns" (implying they do not follow the community by-laws) so why should they.


• and "go back inside, it is none of your business."

How many times have you been sitting on the highway in bumper to bumper traffic only to see some idiot speed by on the shoulder. Obviously they are more important than we are. Many drivers not only break the speed limit but out right disregard the speed limit. Many people feel traffic laws only apply if there are police around to catch them.

I have watched folks, co-workers and friends etc., who, after receiving speeding tickets, are on the internet buying radar detectors so they can speed without getting caught. These are the same folks who are infuritaed when drivers who are obaying the traffic laws and traveling the speed limit travel in the left lane and refuse to get out of their way. These are educated otherwise reasonable individuals who will then tailgate a person, honk their horn, flash theirs lights (and perhaps a choice finger) rather than, heaven forbid, slow down. I don't want to get into the "slower traffic must travel in the right hand lane" debate here, that is a topic for another day. My point is it is like these folks believe their rights and desires should overshadow the rights and even safty of all others; They are more important.

The speed limit is the law and regardless of wether you agree with it or not, it should be followed. Why does it matter to me? It's none of my business if they want to break the law right? In this case they are endangering the property and safety of the other drivers on the road. I am not supporting vigilantyism and do not reccomend pulling out infront of these bozos to slow them down. (I was pushed off the road more than once as a teenager pulling that stunt.) I am no marter so I will usually, if reasonably convienient, get out of the way to minimize the danger to my passengers and me. But I will honk my displeasure at the offender and have, once or twice called the police, once I reached my destination, with licence plate numbers of a bad offender.

You see this attitude in the corporate environment as well; Enron and Worldcomm (and Nortel). You see it in government where contracts are awarded to their "buddies" without following applicable procurment policies etc. Even if the contrctor is the best for the job, the process and policies need to be followed. "Rules don't apply to me"

Try convincing a teenager that it is not ok to smoke pot or drink beer under the age of 21, to drive more than one person in the car with a restricted licence, or to eat in the living room. All rules in my household by the way. Why should they obey these rules. Perhaps their friends don't follow these rules. Perhaps they have done it before and it did not hurt anything... I won't even go to "it's none of you business".

How can kids be expected to respect even the most simple rules if they see adults, government and business leaders, disregarding laws and the rights of others.

I do not expect anyone to be perfect. I will on occation perform a "rolling stop" at an intersection or do some other bonehead manuver behind the wheel of my car. But in general I try to follow rules and laws even if I find them inane or inconvienent. I try to respect the rights of others and sometimes my rights come first.

The old saying of "Let him without sin cast the first stone". As it applies to the golf cart riders, they were right in the respect that I am guilty of some infractions of the home owners association by-laws myself. This certainly does not give them licence to do the same just as I am not going to buy a golf cart and drive it around the community just because they do. And if they, or another member of the community had some issue with me, legitimate or not, I would like to think that, assuming they are reasonably respectfull and calm, I would have enough character to at least hear them out and if appropriate make reasonable efforts to resolve the issue.

Adendum

For the record, I do not know the exact reasons the association's adopted the restrictions regarding non-human powered vehicles on the path. But being a former Home Owner's Association president I will speculate:

• The path was not engineered or constructed for vehicular traffic. Such traffic will accelerate the deterioration of the path and increase maintenance costs


• The path is inteneded for and is primarily used by walkers and joggers. Motorized vehicles endanger the safty of these users.


• The association, owners of all the common property, including the walking trails, can be held liable for any injuries sustained on the common property. The assiciation is not insured for vehicular traffic on the walkways. If the cart were to strike someone or even roll over, down the damn, into the lake injuring the riders, the association could be held directly financially liable.


• Allowing a golf cart, which is arguably reasonably light, quiet and perhaps "slow" opens the door for other powered vehicles scooters, motorcycles, go carts, cars etc... that pose more of a danger to the path, the pedestrians and the riders. These vehicles are likely loud and will desturb the homeowners and the wildlife in the community.


• ...

The Power of a Symbol

(This has sparked some emotions with some folks. Before you comment, and I welcome comments, I invite comments, please read the other comments made and my response)

I am a white male, middle class American. And, as such, I have lead a pretty sheltered life. Sure I see atrocities and famine and hatred and decease but only the media, while enjoying the comfort of my living room couch.

Two weeks ago, on Wednesday night, 3 separate incidents of cross burnings were reported in Durham. The sites were, from what I can tell, not in the front yards of individuals. And based on the news reports really not at particularly racially charged areas of the city. But there where reports of some KKK literature found at least one of the sites. Someone, I guess, wanted to make a statement but were not very particular about where they made it.

For the past couple of weeks, after the burnings, there has been significant news coverage. The Mayer is making speeches and the police are investigating, there are prayer vigils going on... Now, the FBI is involved. For me there is much to much being made of the events. In fact all the attention is, I imagine, exactly what the perpetrations were counting on. It seems counter productive. It seem like it is encouraging further demonstrations and similar acts. The Cross burning is really not the topic I want to investigate here. More the symbol and how it affects individuals and the community.

What makes the Burning of the cross different? I do not remember the racial tensions of the 60s and 70. It did not reach suburbia Virginia or perhaps I just did not notice. If I were black or the crosses were burning in my front yard, I might... no, I am sure I would feel differently. But I struggle with the attention being given here. After all, the burning cross is just a symbol, albeit a strong symbol but just a symbol. The actions were apparently not directed at a particular individual, not over violent actions or threats were made against any persons. Other than open burning on public property, against local laws within city limits, the KKK or whoever has the right to display the symbol. Why is this a federal case?

There are plenty of symbols out there can offend people. Heck do you know how many crosses are in public places. Just as the burning of the cross or the swastika represents hatred and violence to some, There have been plenty of people killed and persecuted under the guys of Christianity. Yet, it is acceptable to display the cross... or the Star of David or the Flag of the United states.

I am in no way condoning the probable intent of the Durham cross burning; To announce hatred for, disdain for the black community. And in fact there may be implied threat of violence to some. None of those things I believe in or support. Just as I have no intent of displaying a swastika or the confederate flag. But it is because I do not believe in what those symbols represent. And I have some level of respect for those people around me that may, based on the historical significance of these symbols, take offence to displaying therefore implicitly supporting them. I do not display a crucifix, a star of David or the flag of Communist China. However, I will, on occasion display the American flag. Because I believe in and am proud of, in principal, what it stand for. More accurately I believe in what it stand for TO ME. And it stand for my right to believe in, however misguided it may be, what ever I want to believe in. To practice those believes as long as it does not bring harm to others.

Burning a cross is politically insensative, particularly in this part of the country, specially in Durham where racial tensions are on the rise. Moreover I have no problem with people expressing their disdain for the symbols and displaying their own beliefs. But other than the fact there was an open flame within the city limits and the flames and the symbols were displayed without permit on public properties, It should not be a pursued as a crime, specially a federal crime. It is a Symbol of someone's beliefs.

I don't like folks waving confederate flags around, or hanging them in the pickup truck, draped over their gun rack. It makes me cringe a bit. To me it means "screw you I am an redneck and proud of it". Do I tear the flag off the truck? No, of course not, but because of more than self preservation and the legality of the action. I respect their right to believe in what they believe in; as misguided as it may be. When I see someone with the confederate flag sewn across their jean jacket, Instead of taking offence I think to myself, "Thank you very much for letting me know that you are no one I want to associate with." Prejudice, sure. I am sure there are plenty of confederate flag waving folks who are good people. But the fact is the symbol means "red neck" to me and I do not subscribe to that way of thinking.

Folks make a conscious decision to display symbols, often to affiliate themselves with a cause and/or to attract like minded individuals. The effect in some cases, intended or not is also to repel opposite minded individuals. I will use me as an example. Christians wear the crucifix to identify themselves as Christians. I admit that, without knowing an individual, I will be more careful in the words I choose or topics I discuss with that person until I know them better if they are openly displaying a crucifix. I find myself avoiding overtly "Christian" individuals. Mostly because I just don't want to be "saved" or judged by Christian standards of conduct, or have to listen to the drivel. My point is that the crucifix, the symbol, has that affect on me and how I interact with people. Is that the intended affect for most folks that wear a crucifix? Probably not.

The symbols you display say a lot to folks around you but is it the message you intent to send? I wear, on occasion, the Lance Armstrong "Live Strong" arm band. I wear it because I think his story is incredible and I want to support his efforts in finding a cure for cancer. I do not intend it to mean that I am gay. But I have heard, in some circles, a yellow arm band indicates homosexuality. Along those lines, I was listening to NPR yesterday. There was some anthropologist/sociologist on talking about marketing to the gay community. I did not hear the whole story but apparently in the early part of the 1900's wearing a red necktie was a symbol indicating the wearer was homosexual. You know how often I have worn a red tie? In both cases some folks may have been disappointed to find they misinterpreted my intentions.

I do not concern myself with every single potential interpretation every potential symbol. But like it or not you have to be careful about the message others receive. I try and represent myself in the things I wear and the products I buy etc.. Still, I am sure there are folks around the world that would take one look at me and hate what I represent to them. I do consider how others perceive me. Specially if it might affect me directly; my being considered for a job or how others directly interact with me or my family. But at some point the problem is theirs not mine.

I do not want to belittle the tragedy and suffering that occurred under the sign of the swastika or the terror instilled by the burning cross. They have significant historical weight and dredge up deep emotions for many but Symbols are just signs. They hurt only those who let themselves be hurt by them. To the folks in Durham who are in an uproar because they feel they are being attacked by the burning crosses, In today Durham, those crosses are more a symbol of ignorance than symbols of hatred. Symbols of the ignorance of those who believe in what they represent.

The Week Behind, The week ahead

Top -o- the mornin to ya!

It's Monday morning and here I sit. I had a good editorial Blog in mind for this morning but I just don't have time this morning. Those tend to take longer to compose; I have to look some stuff up sometimes etc. Make sure I choose my words reasonably carefully so as not to rile someone over poor wordings. I mean if I am gonna rile someone I just assume it be on purpose.

So this morning just a quick update on the NC Grissom going-ons:

Michelle: She graduated from elementary school on Thursday. We have been at that school for 14 years. All of our kids went from kindergarten through 5th grade. Tyler and Kyle even got up and went to the graduation. I tried waking Bob up but.... He was a little disappointed he didn't get to go. That would have been neat. All the kids returning to the school for one last visit. Anyway, Michelle wore her new dress and looked really nice. We took her out for lunch after the ceremony.

Michelle also tried out for the Triangle United Soccer Association. It is a Soccer league that basically is above "recreational" level. They are competitive, you earn your playing time and they are more serious about commitment to the team etc. She won a spot on a team. She was very excited. She did not try out for the top level or "classic" teams. She will be on a "challenge" team. It is still considered a developmental team. Karen and I figured that if she wants to continue on and play soccer in middle school and perhaps High School she would need exposure to more experienced coaching and higher level of play.

Kyle is still working at Cold Stone Creamery. He is enjoying it. He specially likes the tips. (Tipping is a topic for another editorial BLOG). Karen and I dropped him off at Drum Line camp yesterday; Matt Savage Marching Percussion Camp. Most of the Jordan HS drumline (11 out of the 13 I think) are there this week. Kyle attended last summer and just had a crazy time. They have a performance on Saturday when we go to pick him up. Should be good.

Tyler is working hard at Harris Teeter. OK he stands around a lot but he is working. Other than that and spending time with Melodie Tyler has been working in the bandroom, getting uniforms and such ready for the dry cleaners and organizing Music folders for the marching season in the fall etc. Add Computer and video games to the picture and you pretty much have Tyler booked up for the summer.

Bob is working at the Bulls. He has not been able to find another part time job that would be flexible enough to work around the Bulls schedule. When the bulls are in town he works 7-10 hours a day. When they are gone, he goes in a couple hours here and there to work on small stuff. It should be good. He almost has enough money saved to by the Stratus from us. He thinks he has a job lined up for the fall at school. Doing some video related work for the English department. I am not certain what it entails but.... We don't see a lot of Bob, between his friends and his job but it is nice to have him home.

Karen and her Mom's Bowling league is done till fall. Their team name is the "Chocolate Chicks" . (The implication is they like chocolate if you didn't figure that out.) They won the first half of the season, didn't do quite as well the second half. But at the end of the year the first and second place teams from each half have a bowl-off for the title. The Chocolate Chicks walked away with the title. Congrats.

I officially started my new job last week. I say officially because I really have not done much for my new manager. I am still kinda cleaning things up for the old one. Anyway I am looking forward to new challenges. Layoffs are supposed to start in earnest this week around here. While I am glad I am relatively safe (for now) it is gonna be tough around here for the next couple of days. Other than that I have really been enjoying myself making sawdust in the garage. Working of stuff for the band. I will post a picture when I get them off of the camera. (Running low on disk space, not enough room to download them).

The next big event, besides my birthday ;-) , is our trip to Arizona. We leave on the 15th. We will spend a couple day at the Grand Canyon then head out to Sedona for a week. Should be nice. We will get back on the 24th.

Ta for now!

Stem Cell Research

When I BLOG on a topic not of a personal or family nature, it is usually a result of listening to the news or NPR on my drive into work. Lately I have been listening to Johnboy and Billy on my drive in so I my mind has been pretty much emptied of anything significant in nature when I sit down in front of my computer.

Today however the topic of stem cell research was in the news, again. The debate, or at least the most prevalent of the debates, as I understand it, is over the the use of human embryos, regardless of the source or disposition, in medical research.

On one side of the argument are the medical / scientific communities. Their assertion is that stem cell research shows great promise in facilitating, if not directly contributing to the cure for a significant number of diseases and physical maladies including Parkinson's and Alzheimer's diseases, spinal cord injury, stroke, burns, heart disease, diabetes, osteoarthritis, and rheumatoid arthritis. The greatest promise lay in embryonic stem cells research because they are unique in that the have the ability to evolve themselves into a 'specialty' cell; A liver cell or a skin cell or spinal cord cell for example. Thus providing a means to therapeutically replace damaged or diseased cells. Adult stem cells, apparently do not have this unique property. ( I am admittedly ignorant in the difference here. )

The main opposing force to the scientific community is, what I will classify, for lack of perhaps a more accurate term, as the 'morality assertion'. The most vocal opponents are the self proclaimed "pro-lifers". Their primary objection to using embryonic stem cells is that is is destroying human life. They further stipulate that embryonic research is not necessary; mature stem cells provide an adequate alternative vehicle for medical community's stated purposes for the research.

whether or not human embryos should be used for research isn't really what has earned my indignation this morning. The most offensive part of this debate, to me, is the "I don't want my tax dollars being use in the destruction of human life" argument.

Lets remove the "destruction of human life" part of this argument, just for a moment. Think of all of the government activities, activities paid for by your and my tax dollars. How many of those programs and activities do you, personally, believe to be a waste of money or even more appropriately, morally reprehensible?

Now bring back the "destruction of human life" factor into the argument. How much of our National budget (read our tax dollars) is committed to the destruction of Human life or the potential destruction of Human life? I canvassed several internet sites; some government sponsored and some 'activist' sponsored sites. From what I gather, it is a conservative estimate that in FY2006 the pentagon will spend more than $420 Billion dollars on the Military.

Before you jump down my throat and tell me that our military is about saving lives and human suffering, not taking lives. I agree that our military is a vital part of the well being of our country and in fact contributes to the well being of a significant percentage of all world citizens. But the fact is we arm our troops with the ability to destroy human life; right or wrong. Our troops sacrifice their lives so all Americans can be secure and live the American dream. But American lives are lost; right or wrong.

Apply the same logic to Embryonic stem cell research. Assuming there is reasonable scientific evidence that significant breakthroughs in medical treatment and disease control can be made through the judicious use of embryonic stem cells. Some potential lives would be lost for the greater good of humanity; right or wrong. "The difference is that solders make a conscious decision to lay down their lives." I will, for sake of argument, concede this somewhat dubious point. However, in most cases at least, these 'lives' are being discarded regardless; as a waste product of invitro fertilization, miscarriages or aborted pregnancies. You cannot say the same thing about the child who is killed in the exchange of gunfire on the streets of Baghdad.

The irony here is that many of the polititians that are against the stem cell research are on record in support of the US involvement in IRAQ.

I am not a student of government, politics, economics or sociology. So I have to trust that there are enough folks more knowledgeable than me running our government. I have to trust that there will be a balance of ideologies in any debate over and/or implementation of public policy so these policies truly represent the best interest of the country, its citizens and ... well to an extent the rest of the world. What scares me is there appears to be a trend in government, on both sides of the isle mind you, to remove, or squelch opposing ideologies in government rather than to seriously consider opposing views. That is my perception anyway.

Embryonic Stem Cell research... That was the topic right?