Rules are meant to be broken... right?

(This blog was started before leaving on vacation. Sorry for the delayed post)

First off I would like to thank my family and friends for helping me enjoy my 43rd birthday this past weekend. I did receive some nice gifts but more than that just ... well... ... I don't know... It was just a nice family weekend.

I can not really say it was a relaxing weekend. It seems like I was busy the whole time; We picked Kyle up at drum camp Saturday morning. I worked in the Garage that afternoon then went to my In-Law's for dinner that night. Sunday, though I did get the opportunity to sleep in a bit, was go go go. In the morning Tyler and I ran out and took care of some Soccer field maintenance. Karen and I ran errands, where I spent my Birthday money, Tyler and I changed the oil in, rotated the tires on, and washed the Volvo. Then the rest of the evening was spent regaining control over the garage. Well at least moving all of my tools and materials off to the side far enought to get the van back in. There was at least 4 monthes of saw dust that had to be delt with.

I also could not say it was particuarly stress free a weekend either, and thus the real topic of this blog....

My father-in-law, Howard, is not an in-your-face kind of guy. Sling insults or profanity is not his style. He is generaly a quite confident person who tries to alway treat others with respect, whether they deserve it or not. I cannot remember ever hearing any form of profanity come from his mouth and he has raised his voice... no, even then just the intensity of his voice, only a handfull of times in the 22 years I have know him.

So, A couple of weeks ago, when Howard approach the golf-cart riders, The same cart and riders that he had seen several times, riding on our community walking paths, I will trust that he approached them with his typical, professional, respectful demenor.

His intent was to remind or inform the contingency that non-human powered vehicles were not permitted on the community paths or common grounds. It is explicitly written in the community convenance/bi-laws. Rules all association members agree to abide by when they sign the deed to their homes. As it happens, this particular golf cart should have been better marked. As I illuded to in the past, If this particular golf card had a confederate battle flag or perhaps a gun rack mounted behind the front seat, things might have gone differently.

The driver of the cart, apparently a rural southerner, born and bread, became agrivated very quicky. The "gentlman" hurled insult and profanity at Howard, then alegidly threatened to "knock him in the head" if he did not go back inside and mind his own business. At that point Howard, instictivly, drew a wepon; an approxomatly 3 inch lancet that he carries with him wherever he goes just for such an occation. He drew, then and pointed his weapon at the driver and the cart passenger, an older lady, probably 70 years old, who is every bit as charming as the driver; her son I suspect. Howard informed the man that he did not appreciate the threat. The driver echoed Howards cry apparently feeling he himself was being physically threatened by the 5'6" approxomatly 140 lb. man weilding an index finger... To cut this chapter short, Luke Duke and Miz Emma drove off in the General Lee without further incident.

Saturday, as I was finishing up my birthday dinner, The general lee was spotted again. It was heading around the lake on the walking path that passes within 20 feet of Howard and Nancy's townhome. Howard had already taken a complaint to the home owners association but wanted to get proof of the continued infraction. He grabbed his camera and waited on the back porch. Having heard the account of the previous incident, I joined him, I suppose, for moral, if not, limited physical support. Our intent was for nothing other than to snap a picture as they drove buy.

They stopped to pose for the picure. They never left the cart and we never left the portch so there was no threat of physical confrentation but suffice it to say, Their southern hospitality shown through. We got the pictures but not before another lenghty and outright enfuriating public exchange between Luke, Miz Emma, Barney, (their new nick namke for Howard), Daisy Lou (Karen), and myself. They had a charming name for me as well, I just don't remember what it was at this point.

On our side were as respectfull as we could be, we never resorted to name calling, insults or profanity but still, I was disappointed in myself for letting these folks get under my skin and suck me into a public not quite shouting match. I should have recognized after the first sentance out of their mouth that any attempt to reason with these individuals would be fruitless. I should have just taken the picture and simply gone back inside.

After the incident, after my anger subsided, after my hand stopped shaking from holding back the rage I felt, we were discussing the event over German Chocolate Birthday cake and Goodberry's frozen custard (my birthday tradition). The insults and profanity we disregarded as a cultural thing. What we may find as profane, and ignorent is just how some folks communicate day in and day out. While I am sure their intent was to insult and inflame the situration, which they did sucessfully, the profanity was just how they express themselves.

Profanity and insults aside, what really got under my skin (and again the reall intended topic of this BLOG) was the justification these folks used for their actions. It is typical. Not just of the Southern culture but of the "me" culture that us Americans are loved and admired for around the world. I see it in my kids, I see it at work, I see it all over.

• "it was not hurting anyone or anything so what difference does it make"


• "Others in the community do not take care of their lawns" (implying they do not follow the community by-laws) so why should they.


• and "go back inside, it is none of your business."

How many times have you been sitting on the highway in bumper to bumper traffic only to see some idiot speed by on the shoulder. Obviously they are more important than we are. Many drivers not only break the speed limit but out right disregard the speed limit. Many people feel traffic laws only apply if there are police around to catch them.

I have watched folks, co-workers and friends etc., who, after receiving speeding tickets, are on the internet buying radar detectors so they can speed without getting caught. These are the same folks who are infuritaed when drivers who are obaying the traffic laws and traveling the speed limit travel in the left lane and refuse to get out of their way. These are educated otherwise reasonable individuals who will then tailgate a person, honk their horn, flash theirs lights (and perhaps a choice finger) rather than, heaven forbid, slow down. I don't want to get into the "slower traffic must travel in the right hand lane" debate here, that is a topic for another day. My point is it is like these folks believe their rights and desires should overshadow the rights and even safty of all others; They are more important.

The speed limit is the law and regardless of wether you agree with it or not, it should be followed. Why does it matter to me? It's none of my business if they want to break the law right? In this case they are endangering the property and safety of the other drivers on the road. I am not supporting vigilantyism and do not reccomend pulling out infront of these bozos to slow them down. (I was pushed off the road more than once as a teenager pulling that stunt.) I am no marter so I will usually, if reasonably convienient, get out of the way to minimize the danger to my passengers and me. But I will honk my displeasure at the offender and have, once or twice called the police, once I reached my destination, with licence plate numbers of a bad offender.

You see this attitude in the corporate environment as well; Enron and Worldcomm (and Nortel). You see it in government where contracts are awarded to their "buddies" without following applicable procurment policies etc. Even if the contrctor is the best for the job, the process and policies need to be followed. "Rules don't apply to me"

Try convincing a teenager that it is not ok to smoke pot or drink beer under the age of 21, to drive more than one person in the car with a restricted licence, or to eat in the living room. All rules in my household by the way. Why should they obey these rules. Perhaps their friends don't follow these rules. Perhaps they have done it before and it did not hurt anything... I won't even go to "it's none of you business".

How can kids be expected to respect even the most simple rules if they see adults, government and business leaders, disregarding laws and the rights of others.

I do not expect anyone to be perfect. I will on occation perform a "rolling stop" at an intersection or do some other bonehead manuver behind the wheel of my car. But in general I try to follow rules and laws even if I find them inane or inconvienent. I try to respect the rights of others and sometimes my rights come first.

The old saying of "Let him without sin cast the first stone". As it applies to the golf cart riders, they were right in the respect that I am guilty of some infractions of the home owners association by-laws myself. This certainly does not give them licence to do the same just as I am not going to buy a golf cart and drive it around the community just because they do. And if they, or another member of the community had some issue with me, legitimate or not, I would like to think that, assuming they are reasonably respectfull and calm, I would have enough character to at least hear them out and if appropriate make reasonable efforts to resolve the issue.

Adendum

For the record, I do not know the exact reasons the association's adopted the restrictions regarding non-human powered vehicles on the path. But being a former Home Owner's Association president I will speculate:

• The path was not engineered or constructed for vehicular traffic. Such traffic will accelerate the deterioration of the path and increase maintenance costs


• The path is inteneded for and is primarily used by walkers and joggers. Motorized vehicles endanger the safty of these users.


• The association, owners of all the common property, including the walking trails, can be held liable for any injuries sustained on the common property. The assiciation is not insured for vehicular traffic on the walkways. If the cart were to strike someone or even roll over, down the damn, into the lake injuring the riders, the association could be held directly financially liable.


• Allowing a golf cart, which is arguably reasonably light, quiet and perhaps "slow" opens the door for other powered vehicles scooters, motorcycles, go carts, cars etc... that pose more of a danger to the path, the pedestrians and the riders. These vehicles are likely loud and will desturb the homeowners and the wildlife in the community.


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